Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
