I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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