So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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