He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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