it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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