Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize