well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
