If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize