I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
then he tried to convert me to islam
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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