There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
