that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
