i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
this is an emotional support booty call
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
