I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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