We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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