Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
