You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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