That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
