Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!