went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
