sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i black out too much to be "responsible"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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