M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize