I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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