Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Randomize