You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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