its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
