last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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