Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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