ugly people sure do ruin things
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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