Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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