I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
