remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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