i already hear my dad disowning me
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
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I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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