you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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