I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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