I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
