Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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