Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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