Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
