Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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