didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
