How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
