It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
