Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize