So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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