Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
