Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize