I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
