man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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