Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
