I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize