if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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