I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
