Sry I called you an 8
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize