I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize