wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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