the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
