I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
