There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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