thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dick very happy bro
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
